0411407149

Is your child being cyberbullied?

Posted by Yvette Allen on 27 May 2020

So what signs do we look for to see if our child is a victim of cyberbullying?


Well these tips are not set in concrete, as every child is different and therefore may not react in any particular way, however, some of the more common signs are listed below:


1. Suddenly stops going out
2. Stops associating with regular friends
3. Skips lessons at school
4. Fakes illness on certain days of the week
5. Becomes very isolated, and may spend a lot of time alone in their rooms.
6. Often checks phone
7. Appears anxious
8. Can become abusive if questioned
9. Fear of parents interfering
10. Feels like they have undergone a personality transplant.

What can we do.  Unfortunately we cannot be with them 24/7.  Even if they don't have access to a mobile phone, their friends most probably do.  Encourage schools to give advice on cyberbullying and tell the students what to do if they are a victim.


1. Make sure you are supportive and not judgemental. 
2. Become a good listener!  Make sure you let them empty out before you speak, and then paraphrase back what you understood from them to make sure it is correct.
3. Don't give unwarranted or unasked for advice.  Just Listen.
4. Let them know that you are there to talk to and that you will not take any action without their agreement (of course if there is a likelihood of your child or another being harmed, then this is one promise you may have to break, however this is something you must tell your child before doing so and explain why)
5. Allow them to vent.  Listen carefully to what is being said to you, listen but resist the urge to keep asking questions
6. Build their self esteem
7. Ask about their day
8. Encourage them to talk to you or advise them of lifeline numbers, or similar services that they can use for free.
9. Let them know that if they have any problems you are there for them and will support them.
10. Let them speak with other adults and don't ask questions about what.
11. Offer counselling or therapy if you feel they are depressed, or over anxious.

Posted in: Anxiety Scared Relationships  

Foundation Training Workshop 2 days Online Program

Posted by Yvette Allen on 30 April 2020

Upcoming Resource Therapy Foundation Program

Is going to be online, so you can learn about this amazing therapy from your own home! PJ's optional

To be held on 20th and 21st June,2020 at a special price of $660 and for anyone that has problems due to Covid-19 we will try and work out a deal for you too.

Presenters Philipa Thornton Psychologist and Yvette Allen Psychotherapist.

This is an in-depth introduction into an amazing trauma-informed Parts Based Psychotherapy, Theory and Therapy to introduce you to this astounding therapy.   

Register here: Please email ygallen@optusnet.com.au

Or Call 0411 407 149  to register hurry as spaces are strictly limited.

Posted in: Training  

First the fires, now the virus

Posted by Yvette Allen on 18 April 2020

First we were all praying for rain to help our brave fire fighters.

Now we are fighting an invisible foe.

How is this affecting you?

It seems an age ago we were fighting fires and praying for rain. Now we are fighting an invisible foe in the form of corona virus. The solution sounds easy, just stay home, practice social distancing. Easy. Or is it. After a while staying home and not being able to go out for a coffee with friends, or have people home to dinner, or perhaps unable to go to the shops starts to stress people. We can become snappy and irritable with those in the household. Maybe bored or sick of watching the TV, videos and of reading books. All the things that prior to the restrictions we found to be heavenly to have the time to do so. Such fickle beings are we.

It is not unusual that couples start to fight, as resentment or depression builds so does tension and stress.

I am happy to talk to anyone that is suffering. Take advantage of my offer of free 15 minute consultations.

In the meantime I am busy putting together some steps that you can do to help yourselves. Keep an eye on this page for details.

Stay safe and stay sane.

 

Posted in: Stress Anxiety  

How do you show your children love?

Posted by Yvette Allen on 15 April 2020

What is showing love about?

Do your children know that they are loved unconditionally?

So many clients come to me with childhood events that have traumatised them, and they are not even aware of how this happened.  This is not unusual, for example some people may have an unexplained irratitional fear of something that they do not have any knowledge as to how that fear either started or began.  However, quite often it is something that has been said to them during childhood and up to the age or around 8 or 9 whatever an adult or person in authority tells us we swallow whole as being the absolute truth.  It may be something our parent has said as a joke, and I will share with you something my Mother said as a joke when I was a child, that I had a small lump on one of my ears, and she said that  meant I was born to be hung.  You have no idea how many nights I lay awake terrified of being hung and trying to think of how it would feel and what could I do to stop it.  

How often do you see a child crying in a group and the mother or father say "What is wrong with you, all the other children are having a good time, What is wrong with you.  BEWARE they believe this wholly and grow up thinking that they are different and that there is something wrong or different about them..

Some children are never actually told they are loved by their parents, and som!e parents just don't know how to show love.  Perhaps as children themselves they were not shown love, or had abusive parents, or had parents with a big family and no time.  It does not mean they did not love their children, they just did not know how to show love.  

I can hear you say, of course they know we love them, but do they?  When our children do something that makes us really angry with them, we don't stop to say I love you but am angry with you.  No of course not, that would be far too hard, however I do ask that you at some time sit down with your children and tell them that although we sometimes do not like their behaviour, or we are angry with them, that no matter what we do love them unconditionally.  We might not like them, but we do not stop loving them.

.

It is not the presents you buy your children, or the parties you give them, or the opportunities that we give them, that shows our love.  It may make them happy and feel loved then, but it is being told that we are deserving of love, and even that sometimes as parents we may not feel able to show it, but no matter what, we love them unconditionally.

If a child has unconditional love, they have self love, and this helps form a well balanced adult

 

So I am asking you when you give them something, give it with love and not with strings attached.  We all have expectations of what we would like our children to grow up to be, but quite often this is not what they choose for themselves, and we have to be prepared to be open to their ideas and to discuss things openly with them without guilt, or our own disappointment in their choices coming into play.  

If you can learn to listen to your children and talk to them and not at them, then they will come to you for advice, and if you don't know the answer then tell them you don't and help them to find someone who may be able to help.

It is never too late to start showing love.

and before I finish please spend a little time loving yourself - you are so worth it.

 

Posted in: Stress Relationships  

Is your relationship all you want it to be?

Posted by Yvette Allen on 5 April 2020
Is your relationship all you want it to be?

Is your relationship all that you want it to be?

 

How often do you find yourself saying or thinking:

  • Why won't he/she listen to me?

  • Why can't they understand me?

  • Are they having an affair?

  • We used to get on so well; what went wrong?

  • We don't have any quality time together now!

  • What happened to the cuddles and kisses

  • We don't discuss anything, we just row

  • I just want to be listened to!

  • I feel like I am just an asset, not a person

  • I don't think I will ever be able to forgive him/her!

Well you may be surprised to know that I have heard these comments over and over again. 
Sometimes we go through life accepting and quite often resenting our partners, but we stay together because it is too hard not to.
When you feel at your wits end, and/or keep ruminating on these comments, then it is time to get some help.
Relationships often end because we don't put the time and effort into understanding what it is that our relationship needs.  Quite often what we say is not actually what is heard.  Many problems are due to lack of communication, not being able to talk about what has happened, or being able to voice what is wrong. 
Yvette Allen helps couples to resolve their problems and go on to repair their relationships.  
Your relationship deserves a chance and that is what I help couples to do.  Even if it does not end in a happy ever after result, it at least can end with understanding and some form of respect.
Phone Yvette today to book a free 15 minute session to find out how she is able to help you.  Phone 0411 407 149

Posted in: Relationships  
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Why so many people choose Yvette

  • I believe if you have a problem, I can help
  • 35+ years' experience in training
  • Small groups
  • Individual attention given
    to every participant
  • Strong focus on hands-on
    experiential learning
  • Lifelong support for participants and
    discounts on further courses
  • Life changing positive results!

Clients say

Yvette is a wonderful therapist. She sure has been very helpful, supportive, calming and inspired confidence in myself to travel through life's up and downs. We all need support sometimes. I am so thankful she was there for me.

Dianne B

Due to the current Coronavirus situation, all further physical training has been postponed.  We are developing on-line based courses and will advise shortly.

In the meantime, please stay updated through our blogs.

 

Mind, Body & Soul

Is your child being cyberbullied?

Posted by Yvette Allen on 27 May 2020
So what signs do we look for to see if our child is a victim of cyberbullying?
Well these tips are not set in concrete, as every child is dif...
Posted in: Anxiety Scared Relationships  
< Previous | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | Next >
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