Relationships with Therapists

Sometimes life seems to be a constant struggle, and at these times we need a little help. 

This can be a good friend to talk to, an understanding spouse, or your therapist.  It can present in many different forms too. 

Fear of presenting on stage or to a group of people is one of the most common, and social fear is another common struggle. 

Being able to admit to this is hard, and that is where a therapist is a great help. 

Of course, when you talk with a therapist you can be assured that whatever is discussed it will stay between you and your therapist.  Obviously when you first visit a therapist it can take a little while to entirely trust that therapist. 

Remember that part of that therapist’s training is focused on the privacy act, and what the exceptions are to break that trust, one is if your therapist feels that you are at risk of committing suicide or harming yourself or others. 

Your therapist will usually tell you if they feel they need to bring in support to stop you harming yourself or others.  The therapist will usually inform you if this action needs to be taken and explain why.  Having said that anything that is not threatening will stay between you and your therapist.  Knowing this can help you reach out to a therapist. 

The other reason for not seeing a therapist is that you may feel you do not want to share, as it is shameful, or disgusting.  Having been a therapist for nearly 50 years I can tell you that there is nothing you can tell your therapist that will shock them.  The therapist job is not to judge, it is to help you to find new ways to live your life with better options and find help where needed. 

Many ladies who are being abused carry with them this shame and feel that they cannot talk about it for fear of it getting out. 

This is not a realistic fear of your privacy being broken.  Your therapist may suggest ways to help your situation, but they do not insist that you do this.  It is your life and your options. 

There are many different forms of anxiety, shame and that feeling of not being good enough.

So let us look at just one today and the rest in my next blog.

This anxiety is one of the most common and it is that feeling of “not being good enough”.  

Many people feel this, not only in everyday life, but therapists often feel that they are on a pedestal and afraid that might fall, and this has even been given a name of pedestal syndrome.  Those feelings of not being good enough come to all types of people, even those people who are so intelligent and have two or three degrees can feel this. 

I found this very surprising when I met a gentleman in a group who had four degrees and a PhD and still was studying as he felt not good enough. 

So, what makes us feel this way. 

Often it is the fear that there will be just one question that we don’t know the answer to, and if this question is asked all that we do know will be brushed to one side and only the one that we did not know will be remembered.  Nobody, absolutely nobody has all the answers, even the best experts and specialists in their fields are still doing research to find out more. 

It is a never ending research,  as when we find the answer to one then there are many others that come into play.  So why do we expect ourselves to know all there is to know.  I believe that when we learn something new, we should all be taught to say “I am afraid I am not sure about that, or I don’t know the answer to this, but I am happy to do some research to try and find the answer. 

This does not make you look silly, but on the contrary, it shows that you are human, and there is always more and more to find out.  Indeed as I write this blog I am asking myself if there is more that I should know, and also what I may have missed.  It is also quite common to have social anxiety. 

Many people that are in the face of the camera’s on a personal level suffer from social anxiety.  Being a therapist one would think that this would not apply to me, but indeed it does.  I can stand up in front of a large audience and teach, but take me to a function where I don’t know people and you would find me sat hidden away in a corner and hoping no one would approach me.

So, what is the reason we feel this way. 

It can arise from many different sources, and this is where talking with your therapist can help, as they help you to understand yourself and the reasons why this may have occurred. 

Therapists are there to help you.  When you visit a therapist you can be assured that your visit will be totally  private and you can tell them anything that you need to.  It helps to get it off your chest!!

As a therapist myself I have heard all sorts of things and have never shown shock or anxiety or disgust at what I am hearing.  I look to ways of helping people, not to judge, or condemn.  It does not make my clients a lesser person when they discuss their problems with me, it does not make me feel less of them or more. 

My clients are people who are seeking help and my purpose as a therapist is to try and help them to the best of my ability or to refer them on, if their problem is out of my scope of practice.

Therapists are there to help.  Just remember that.

If you'd like to have a chat, contact me on 0411 407149 or email me.