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Looking Forward to Retirement?

Posted on 19 December 2023
Looking Forward to Retirement?

Many people look forward to retirement, but when it comes around, they are left wondering what to do. 

There is only so much golf one can play, and if you don’t play golf then what can you do. 

Go bush walking, only if you are fit and well or join a group, like Probus. 

The advantage of this is that being with other people is of great benefit. 

Meeting other people of the same age, or fitness can be of enormous benefit, as you are all trying to achieve the same end results. 

Most people want to get fit or stay fit. 

Some will want to lose weight.

Whatever the reason, doing the same exercises can bring you closer together and make new friends. 

Having other people in your life is of benefit to all, as it opens up a new topic of conversation, perhaps it also leads you to join other groups or make new friends. 

Whatever your reason for joining it is of benefit to you.

When we retire, we tend to sit and watch tv, or read a book, but after a while this becomes tedious and we then want other things in our life, that involves meeting new people, making new friends, or joining new groups of interest. 

So, before you retire check out the groups in your area and join up with one or two of interest. 

A whole new lifestyle is waiting for you to join in.

I can help you with your transition to retirement, contact me to see how I can help.

Posted in:retirement  

Cookbooks as Gifts: A Tale of Two Perspectives

Posted by Yvette Allen on 20 November 2023
Cookbooks as Gifts: A Tale of Two Perspectives

For many, the festive season is a time of joy, anticipation, and family gatherings.

It's a time to indulge in delicious food, share laughter and warmth, and create cherished memories.

However, for some, the holidays can also bring a sense of dread and anxiety, particularly when it comes to expectations and gift-giving.

One such gift that can elicit mixed emotions is the cookbook.

For those who enjoy cooking and exploring new culinary creations, a cookbook can be a treasure trove of inspiration and a gateway to new culinary adventures.

It's a gift that encourages creativity and the exploration of different flavours and techniques.

However, for those who feel insecure about their cooking skills or who have received overly critical feedback in the past, a cookbook can feel like a subtle hint at their perceived inadequacies.

It can trigger feelings of self-doubt and reinforce negative perceptions about their cooking abilities.

The dilemma of the cookbook gift is often amplified when it comes to mothers-in-law, who may have their own set culinary standards and preferences.

The unspoken message behind a cookbook from a mother-in-law can be interpreted as a suggestion that their cooking needs improvement, which can lead to feelings of resentment and frustration.

To avoid these awkward situations and ensure that your gift is well-received, consider the recipient's personality, cooking habits, and relationship with food.

If they enjoy cooking and are always eager to try new recipes, a cookbook can be a delightful present.

However, if they have expressed insecurities about their cooking or have received critical feedback in the past, it's best to choose a gift that doesn't focus on their culinary skills.

Instead, consider gifting them a fun cooking class, a subscription to a meal delivery service, or a set of high-quality kitchen utensils.

These gifts show appreciation for their love of food without putting unnecessary pressure on their cooking abilities.

Remember, the essence of gift-giving is to bring joy and appreciation, not to make comparisons or offer unsolicited advice.

Choose a gift that reflects the recipient's interests and preferences and ensure that it comes from a place of genuine thoughtfulness and care.

Posted in:Relationships  

Sleep Help

Posted by Yvette Allen on 9 September 2023
Sleep Help

Tackle daytime stress and worries.

Residual stress, worry and anger from your day can make it difficult to fall asleep at night.

One reason for sleep deprivation is stress, and if this is a problem for you get some help with stress management. 

Stress can come from managing work, family, or if a child’s school can keep you awake at night. 

Learning how to handle stress in a productive way and to maintain a calm, positive outlook can help you sleep better at night.

Try talking over your worries during the day with a friend or loved one. 

Talking face to face with someone who cares about you is a great way to relieve stress and stop you rehashing worries when it’s time to sleep. 

The person does not need to fix your problems, but just needs to be an attentive, non-judgmental listener.

Harnessing your body’s relaxation response. 

If you feel wound up much of the time and unable to let go stress at the end of the day, you may benefit from relaxation techniques such as meditation, yoga and deep breathing. 

Not only do relaxation techniques help quiet your mind and relieve tension in the body, but they also help you fall asleep faster and get back to sleep more quickly if you wake up during the night.

Some popular smartphone apps can help guide you through the different relaxation methods. 

You can also try following these techniques:

Abdominal breathing 

Take a deep breath through your nose, taking the air right down to the bottom of your lungs and filling them with air right to the top, then slowly breath out through your nose, noticing how your breath feels, perhaps cold on intake and warm on exhale. 

When breathing in breath fully, deeply, noticing how your stomach inhales. 

Place your hands on your stomach and feel it expand.  Then slowly exhale through your mouth.  Breath in through your nose and out through your mouth. 

Progressive muscle relaxation is another method in which we can relax our body totally and allow sleep to come over you slowly. 

Make yourself comfortable. 

Starting with your feet, tense the muscles as tightly as you can, hold for 10 then relax. 

Continue to use this method for every muscle group in your body, working up from your legs all the way up to the very top of your head.

Mindfulness meditation 

Sit quietly and focus on your natural breathing and on the way your body feels in the moment.

Allow thoughts and emotions to come and go without judgement, always returning to focus on your breath and your body.

It takes regular practice to learn these techniques and harness their stress relieving power; but the benefits can be huge. 

You can do them as part of your bedtime routine, when you are lying down preparing for sleep, and if you wake up in the middle of the night you can do them again.

Yvette Allen

Yvetteallen.com.au

Posted in:StressAnxietySuffering  

Can’t sleep?

Posted by Yvette Allen on 3 September 2023
Can’t sleep?

Understanding insomnia and its symptoms. 

Insomnia is the inability to get the amount of sleep you need in order to wake up feeling refreshed and rested. 

It is defined by the personal needs of each person, and how you awake feeling. 

It is not the number of hours that you sleep, or how quickly you doze off. 

Even if you are spending eight hours a night in bed, if you feel drowsy and fatigued during the day, you may be experiencing insomnia.

So, what are the symptoms of insomnia?

Symptoms of insomnia can include any or all the following:

·       Difficulty falling asleep, despite being tired

·       Trouble getting back to sleep when waking up during the night

·       Waking up too early in the morning

·       Not feeling refreshed after sleep

·       Relying on sleeping tills or alcohol to fall asleep

·       Daytime drowsiness, fatigue or irritability

·       Difficulty concentrating during the day
 

Common causes of insomnia

How long does insomnia last? 

It can range from a few nights and can resolve on its own, this is usually caused by stress, anxiety and depression, other causes can be emotional and psychological causes, including chronic or significant life changes, stress, anger, worry, grief, bipolar disorder, and trauma.

Some medical problems and illness can contribute to insomnia, including asthma, allergies, Parkinson’s disease, hyperthyroidism, acid reflux, kidney disease and cancer. 

Chronic pain is also a very common cause of insomnia.

Also some prescription drugs can interfere with sleep, including some antidepressants, stimulants for ADHD, corticosteroids, thyroid hormone, high blood pressure medications and also some contraceptives. 

Common over the counter culprits include cold and flue medications that contain alcohol, pain relievers that contain caffeine, i.e. Midol, Excedrin, diuretics and slimming tablets.

Insomnia is in itself a sleep disorder, but it can also be a symptom of other sleep disorders, including sleep apnea, restless leg syndrome and circadian rhythm disturbances tied to jet lay or late-night shift work.

It is important to identify all possible causes of your insomnia, including things that you are doing during the day and leading up to bedtime. 

Some common causes are;

Watching TV, playing video games, use of a computer tablet or smartphone in bed. 

Exercising or eating late in the evening, using blue screens late. 

It is important that once defining the cause of your sleeplessness, that you change them. 

Exercise and meals should be eaten prior to 7pm, use of caffeine should be stopped by 3pm. 

In order to define what is attributing to your sleep deprivation, it is really useful to keep a sleep diary. 

Some habits are so ingrained that you may not even consider them part of the problem. 

For example, using a computer, television or any blue screen devises can cause sleep problems and you may not have associated these with sleeplessness.

So, we have discussed what not to do, and in my next blog I will give you the things that are really helpful to get a good night sleep. 

Look out for my next blog, next week.

Signing off now.

Yvette Allen

Posted in:StressAnxietySuffering  

The joy of a silent husband!!!

Posted by Yvette Allen on 3 September 2023
The joy of a silent husband!!!

Now I have a great partner, who is wonderful, with just one little, or sometimes large glitch and that is sometimes he just goes silent, with no apparent reason that I am aware of. 

This to many would not be a problem, but to someone who counsels people it tends to be a thorn in  my side. 

I try all the recommended ways to solve the problem or make it not a problem to me, however nothing seems to satisfy me. 

This usually ends up with a few sharp words coming my way and no resolution to what I can only call a problem.

Firstly, I try to ignore it. 

However, after a couple of days this proves to be too hard and does not resolve the issue. 

Secondly, I say very gently that I have noticed that he is very quiet and I wonder if there is a problem and if so can I be of help. 

The answer is a definite NO. 

Then after another day I am getting really worried and feel I must dig deeper. 

I say that I know there is something bothering him and feel that it would be of benefit to talk it over with me, especially if I am the problem.  I get a definite “There is no problem, just leave me alone”. 

Easier said than done.  Another two days pass and still the silent monitor is on. 

So I play a guessing game – Did you know……, Does that worry you?...... Answer is more silence or a definite grunt. 

Then in desperation I try the “I know there is something worrying you and it is really worrying me to see you like this” 

This brings out a “For goodness sake let it be, there is nothing wrong”. 

Still the silence continues.  I leave well alone while I rack my brains for what may be wrong, then the penny clicks I spent $190 at the supermarket, many times he has said just buy what you want and no extras. 

So, I put this into practice for a week, then ask if he has noticed, the answer is No, why should he. 

Now this is fighting talk, but I bite my tongue.  Not an easy task for a Leo!!!! 

This then leads to what I have done wrong, he answers nothing, for goodness sake just leave him alone. 

Now after another couple of weeks of silence he suddenly will tell me what is worrying him. 

Usually this is about the future, my spending and our finances.   Now I have not bought a new outfit to wear since my daughter got married in 2019. 

This of course eventually leads to my buying something new. 

Then I am all dressed up and no where to GO. 

So, I suggest we go out to dinner, not an expensive dinner, just a Thai or Chinese.  He says OK and we go.  The next day there is still silence.  

Scream…………………….  I just have to get to the bottom of this.

Well all that worry, all that anxiety and it turns out that he is just busy at work and it is catching up with him, but he has offloaded some to his assistant and now feels much better!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The joy of a silent husband!!!

Posted in:Relationships  
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Looking Forward to Retirement?

Posted on 19 December 2023
Looking Forward to Retirement?
Many people look forward to retirement, but when it comes around, they are left wondering what to do. There is only so much golf one can play,...
Posted in:retirement  
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