Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is one of the most common and it is that feeling of “not being good enough”. 

Many people feel this, not only in everyday life, but therapists often feel that they are on a pedestal and afraid that might fall, and this has even been given a name of pedestal syndrome. 

Those feelings of not being good enough come to all types of people, even those people who are so intelligent and have two or three degrees can feel this. 

I found this very surprising when I met a gentleman in a group who had four degrees and a PhD and still was studying as he felt not good enough. 

So, what makes us feel this way.  Often it is the fear that there will be just one question that we don’t know the answer to, and if this question is asked all that we do know will be brushed to one side and only the one that we did not know will be remembered. 

Nobody, absolutely nobody has all the answers, even the best experts and specialists in their fields are still doing research to find out more.  It is a never ending research,  as when we find the answer to one then there are many others that come into play. 

So why do we expect ourselves to know all there is to know.  I believe that when we learn something new, we should all be taught to say “I am afraid I am not sure about that, or I don’t know the answer to this, but I am happy to do some research to try and find the answer. 

This does not make you look silly, but on the contrary, it shows that you are human, and there is always more and more to find out.  Indeed as I write this blog I am asking myself if there is more that I should know, and also what I may have missed. 

It is also quite common to have social anxiety. 

Many people that are in the face of the cameras on a personal level suffer from social anxiety. 

Being a therapist, one would think that this would not apply to me, but indeed it does.  I can stand up in front of a large audience and teach, but take me to a function where I don’t know people and you would find me sat hidden away in a corner and hoping no one would approach me.

So, what is the reason we feel this way.  It can arise from many different sources, and this is where talking with your therapist can help, as they help you to understand yourself and the reasons why this may have occurred. 

Therapists are there to help you.  When you visit a therapist you can be assured that your visit will be totally  private and you can tell them anything that you need to.  It helps to get it off your chest!!

As a therapist myself I have heard all sorts of things and have never shown shock or anxiety or disgust at what I am hearing.  I look to ways of helping people, not to judge, or condemn. 

It does not make my clients a lesser person when they discuss their problems with me, it does not make me feel less of them or more. 

My clients are people who are seeking help and my purpose as a therapist is to try and help them to the best of my ability or to refer them on, if their problem is out of my scope of practice.

If this sounds like you, contact me and let’s have a chat.